12 Feb 2018

Welcome to SeniorVu’s daily ‘flash fiction’, with the continuing saga of Mary Lu at the Vu. Mary Lu is a 78-year old fictitious resident of a fictitious senior living community called Hickory Hills View (a.k.a. The Vu).  Every night, while her husband Bobby (he’s fictitious too) sleeps next to her, she sends her sister Carolyn (yup, fictitious) an entertaining email updating her on the day. These are her stories. We hope they become as addictive as your morning cup of coffee. 

Disclaimer: Even though these stories may sound familiar to your community, the story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this series are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

C –

Noreen had a surprise for us.

“Guess what’s in here?” she asked, rolling a suitcase into our quilting club meeting.

Jackie, Angela and I all guessed. Clothes? Fabric? Her old wedding dress?

“Wrong, wrong and wrong,” Noreen said. “It’s a Walgreens on wheels.”

Noreen opened the case. It was filled with sample packs of prescription drugs, everything from statins to arthritis medication to proton pump inhibitors.

“And they’re all free, baby,” she said “Every last one of them.”

She explained that her son-in-law had been unceremoniously laid off from his job as a pharmaceutical sales representative last week. Furious with his former employer, he refused to make the 90 minute commute to return his samples. Instead, he gave them to Noreen to distribute to her friends.

“If you or anyone you know are paying up the wazoo for pills, I’ll hook you up with freebies,” she said, throwing each of us some prescription-strength Prilosec samples.

I didn’t want those, but I did help myself to a few samples of the pills Bobby takes when his gout flares up.

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” Noreen said.

She dug to the bottom layer of the bag to reveal a bounty of blue…

“Oh, my!”

We all said it in unison. Every single one of us knew what those little diamond-shaped tablets were — and what they do for the fellas.

She said there were 632 sample packs of those particular pills, each with four tablets. That would be enough to generate two thousand…

“That drug’s expensive. Why not sell them?” Jackie said, thankfully disrupting the decidedly graphic math problem I was working on.

Noreen explained she couldn’t sell the pills or she’d basically be the Pablo Escobar of The Vu. She could, however, give them away. And if the recipients felt like returning the favor…

“I have an Amazon wish list,” she smiled.

I took one pack of blue pills.

“I want to play a joke,” I explained.

Bobby’s never needed anything like that. But with Valentine’s Day almost here, I thought I’d leave them on his nightstand after he falls asleep.

I hope he has a sense of humor about it.

More tomorrow,

Lu

P.S. To catch up on all of my previous Mary Lu at The Vu posts, click here to go back to Day 1.